Someone called me a Supermom the other day. My immediate response was "well, that's laughable." My mind flew to my undone dishes, the shower gone unscrubbed, the floors unvacuumed and the laundry unlaundered. I felt very un-super.
So I tried (really, really hard) to think of the things I do right. It was really, really hard, at first. Then I started to rememeber. I got down on the floor and played with the Hot Wheels when I felt really lousy. I stayed patient when Stinky got off the couch for the 26th time during quiet time. I squeezed him and told him that I loved him a bajillion times a day. I covered 3 different shifts at preschool in the last two months, and I only said one bad word when I fell chasing him through the mud at a park when he ran away. I felt a little bit closer to super, because being a mom isn't only about the dishes, shower, floors, or laundry. My son won't ever know at three years old he had to leave the house with one dirty sock and one clean sock, but I think (I hope) he'll remember that we played with the Trick Tracks until we managed to land one car in the basket- and then did it for another twenty minutes. I hope he'll remember that we laugh, and that we adore his little guts.
It's too easy to see our own faults, to compare our worst to what we perceive as someone else's normal - when it's probably their 'public best'. We're doing both ourselves and that other, seemingly perfect, mother a disservice when we do that. Some nights I lay in bed, reviewing all the mistakes I made during the day. I berate myself for raising my voice, or discovering that the forgotten clothes have been in the washer for a day too long. I tally the time he's spent watching TV while I read blogs, and declare myself the Lex Luthor of all mothers. No wonder I have insomnia!
So, I think from now on, I'll try to think of the things I've done right during the day. Maybe by looking for the good in myself, the way I try to look for it in others, will get that much closer to thinking I could live up to the title of Supermom. I think by believing myself capable of that, I might just achieve it. I can almost see my cape now.