Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My Eight Favorite Things About Being Married For Eight Years

8 - Laughter:  I know someone will be holding in the same laughs that I am when someone says something obnoxious or accidentally in appropriate at church.  We catch each other making the same jokes and enjoy the same movies and shows (mostly.  he maintains that Downton Abbey, Grey's Anatomy and Mad Men will cost him his man card, and I respect that).  We laugh a lot in our house, and not taking life too seriously makes it work for us.

7 - History: We have known each other for longer than we haven't known each other, having met when we were 13 and 14.  There are still stories we don't know, but the ones we share- little things like lunch periods where he threw cinnamon bears down my cleavage - make our relationship that much stronger.

6 - Resolution:  I can count on one hand the times we have had real arguments.  Not because we haven't disagreed, but because when we do, the worst place we really reach is that feeling of discomfort, because we can feel that we aren't in alignment anymore.  Usually, that is enough for us to step back and approach it from a better place.  We hate feeling like we're not together on things- so we try not to spend too much time there.

5- The Obvious:  because practice makes a good thing even better.

4- The Perks:  No, I'm not repeating #5.  Being married has given us that person that fills in for our weaknesses, brings skills to the table that we don't have, and is your tag-team wrestling partner ready to tap in when you can't do anymore.  That, and guys... I married a jeweler, right?  Kidding aside, I am so grateful I married someone creative- we bounce ideas off each other for endeavors creative and otherwise.  We spent a few minutes designing a built-in for our entry the other day, and we never had to draw anything out.  A creative connection isn't necessary, but it absolutely rocks.

3- The Boys:   How could I not include them?  Seeing your husband or wife in your child is amazing.  Look at the kids we have- I love (and dread) the energy they bring to our home, and moments like today where I played hallway football with Rotten (tackles and tickles are interchangable in a hallway game), or played a game with WBH and Stinky are the best time.  We are so lucky that we get to be a family, and I hope we maintain these feelings forever.

2- Convenience:   Maybe this is cheap and selfish- but it is awesome not to have to find a date for things anymore.  It is great to have a second set of hands.  It is great to have someone who will give you an excuse to get out of something you have no interest in doing but may be mildly obligated to do.   If you don't agree that any of this is one of the most awesome things about being marriage, you are a filthy liar.

1- Strength:  This paragraph is tricky to write, because I think that a lot of the time I'm the weak link in our relationship.  What you need to know about WBH, and why I call him World's Best Husband is because this guy has known me through eating disorders, depression, pageants, illness, infertility, loss, and madness-inducing medications, and he is still here.  That is a laundry list that would scare the hell out of any man in his right mind, and yet, he continues to be the guy that gets up and goes to work for me and the kids we made, who takes me to book signings in Seattle when he hates going into the City, and remembers everything I ever say to him, except for the things that I regret and remember with shame.  He's still the guy that cleans the whole house when I'm overwhelmed, and gets up with the alarm, because I will always, always sleep through it.

And having someone like that, friends, is the very best part of being married for eight years.


Elizabeth said...

That was so sweet and written so well. Someday I hope to find a guy who'll throw cinnamon bears down my cleavage. ;)

M said...

Aw. That's so sweet. Congratulations on 8 years of luuuuuuuv.

balloongal said...

You guys are sooooooooooo good for each other. Congratulations.

Jennie said...

That was the loveliest thing I have read this week! I am impressed with your one-hand worth of arguments. That's a good goal for me!

Jennifer said...

thank you for writing this. you (and WBH) are an inspiration. i'm glad i know you.