A question

Do you ever worry about what your librarian thinks of you? This sounds like a silly question, but it's one that plagues me. I think that you can tell a lot about a person by what they read, watch, and listen to, and that worries me.

My reading list is pretty varied from non-fiction to chick lit, to biographies and craft books. I like variety. There are authors (Anita Shreve, Alexander McCall Smith, and Sophie Kinsella to name a few) whose books I love, and reserve almost the instant it pops up on the online catalog. When I'm busy my picks are limited to magazines and videos and books for the kiddo, and I don't worry about judgement there.

I ask this question, though, because there are a few movies I want to see, but would be embarassed to have someone else know that I'm seeing them. Don't ask what it is, because I won't tell you. Don't assume it's that kind of movie, because I don't watch them, and they don't carry those. I've considered several options- having them sent to a different library in the system, or ponying up the dollar to get them from Redbox. The jury is still out.

Do you worry about what your librarian thinks of you?

Words for Wednesday

To go along with the pictures, I found out that my name is registered! There's an official registry for rollergirl names- you can't take another girls' name or have one that's too similar without her permission. Mine was approved and added to the list! I'm completely geeking out over this. "Missed Congeniality" is official!

Wordless Wednesday: Roller Derby Pics

He Made It Monday: Round 2

For another installment of He Made it Monday, or Why WBH Rocks! I'd like to share my helmet. He spent hours working on this for me, and it never fails to get compliments. Woo, he's a keeper.

As for the bout, it went well. Team Ninja didn't make it past the first round, but I got to be out there a lot and had a good time. I've got lots of work to do, but I start practicing with my team this week, and I'm really excuted. I've got pictures to share, and will post more about it this week.

Also, glory be, Soule Mama has announced her second book's release date. I love her first book SO much, and I can't wait for this one!

Thoughts on the weekend

Stinky, getting in the derby spirit. Yes, he does wear shirts other than that one, but we don't wear too many shirts that don't have dinosaurs lately.

It's a big weekend for me. It's my first bout. I'm excited and a little scared, but it's exciting to see something I've worked hard for come to be. If you're local to me, you should come check out the action (info here). I'll probably be the one on the floor.

Oh, and there's still one spot open for the pay-it-forward giveaway, if you're interested. You know you want to.

Life-by-numbers

10- miles WBH walked with NoNuts today.
9-times per hour I heard "I'm hungry for......" this week.
8- times per hour I have been patient about it.
7- the price of my newest pair of knee socks WITH NINJAS! (WBH claims he will be putting together an intervention soon).
6-curse words said while I drove to Seattle and back today.
5-of them at the rude woman who nearly ran us down in Wallingford.
4-loads of laundry folded.
3-gifts to be made for the giveaway below
2-Days until my first bout
1-year old, turned NoNuts today

0-remaining doses of Stinky's oral steroids that made him so "hungry for...." and emo this week. We hope to have him back to normal Friday.

(magically, my headband makes him Kung Fu Panda, and he runs around yelling "Hee-yah! Sa-doosh!" )

100- the number of posts I've done. Sooooo.... Giveaway!

It's the pay-it-forward deal. I'm a little late in getting this started. I will be making gifts for the first three people that respond. The deal is that you have to pay it forward by doing the same thing at your blog. So, if you want it, be one of the first three responders, (please be in the US, shipping internationally is a bear), and tell me your favorite color. It will happen some time this year.

Sooooo..... Go!

Wordless Wednesday: First Bout!

I Made it Monday: Patch

"Mommy," Stinky said as he snuggled into my lap. "I ready to have a baby now." A few passersby giggled at overhearing this. When I asked him what kind of baby, he said " A boy, orange hair." Later that evening, Patch was born.

So named because of the patch on his side (a quick repair when I noticed a split spot after he'd been sewn shut), Patch is the closest thing we're getting to a baby around here for a while.

He doesn't seem to mind.

Anniversary week: Finale

Neither of us remembers when we starting throwing around the 'm' word. We remember talking about how many kids we wanted to have, before we talked about marriage. WBH sat next to me in church, sketched out a ring and said "If I was going to make you a ring, someday, what would you think about this one?" It kind of went unspoken for a while that we were getting married.

To celebrate six months of dating, we booked tickets on the murder mystery dinner train. We'd been before, for my birthday, and while I'd been a suspect, my name was cleared. This time WBH was the suspect. The food was really good, the performers were really entertaining, but something was off with my date. He was called off the train before we embarked for a while. When he came back, he explained that they had wanted to make sure they hadn't lost any flowers he had ordered.* "I hope you aren't disappointed," he said "it just wasn't in the budget this time." Then he got really quiet. I asked him repeatedly if everything was okay, and he assured me things were fine. I grew a little nervous. He wasn't himself.

It wasn't until the midway stop at a winery that I figured it out. He was going to break up with me. A million thoughts were running through my head. He'd shown me the drawing, we named our children, and he was going to break up with me here, of all places? My gosh, the nerve! I excused myself to the restroom. Holding back tears, I steeled myself for the inevitable. I faced myself in the mirror, promising I wouldn't lose it in front of him.

When I returned, the tour continued. We found a body in the winery, with gaudy, tacky jewelry on it. We had a photo taken with the body (it sounds weird, but everyone was doing it). I thought it might be symbolic later. We sat silently across from eachother as the train lurched forward. The detective entered the car, and began accusing WBH. "You're a jeweler!" he exclaimed. "How do you explain the jewelry on the victim's body?" He handed WBH the microphone.

"Well," WBH began, "If I was going to make some jewelry..." He reached into his pocket," It would look like this." He took the box out and opened it. "Rae, will you marry me?"

Shock, then relief flooded my body. Unable to speak, I nodded my answer, and reached for the ring. Wait, he's supposed to do that part. I laughed as he put it on my finger and kissed him.

"WHAT DID SHE SAY?" Shouted an old woman at the back of the train car. "She said yes!" answered one of the actors, wiping her eyes. As the performace resumed, we were grinning from ear to ear. "I thought you were going to break up with me." I confessed.

"I showed you the drawing of a ring!"

"You were so quiet all night" I countered

"I was nervous!" he defended himself

"You knew I'd say yes!"

"It doesn't make it any easier!"

Mostly, we just kept grinning and giggling After the train ride he said "You know what? You never actually said if you'd marry me. You just nodded and took the ring."

"Yes!" I laughed. "Yes, I will marry you!"



* He was pulled off the train to confirm that he wanted to go through with the proposal. Apparently they'd done proposals before, and one had gone very wrong. Then, you're stuck in a train for hours with that person, and the whole car is uncomfortable for the whole night. So they wanted to be really, really sure.

Anniversary Week: Those three little words.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief. "I'm so glad you said it. Yeah, I think we are."

The next day we had our first date. I tried to hide my silly giddiness over holding hands while we were at the circus. I was such a dork. Things moved forward for the next few months pretty much the way they were before, but without the awkward moments where I tried to keep secret how much I was falling for him. It was no secret anymore. We had our first kiss in his parents's driveway. With that, it was all over for me.

WBH had been living in his parents' home since getting back from Argentina, and I still lived with my parents while attending community college. We knew that wouldn't last forever, or even for a long time, and started discussing the future. When I asked what he was thinking about, he told me he'd been thinking about going away to school. My heart sank. Things were going so well, and it felt like I was going to lose it all. I realized in that moment that I was completely, head over heels in love with this guy. I felt for him what I had never felt before. I was in love with someone, and could have a future with him. I saw it all- the house, the dog, the kids, and yet, he was leaving. As I drove him home that night, I was nearly silent. When we pulled into the driveway he asked, "What's wrong?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer. Sobbing, I told him I didn't want to be selfish, but I didn't want him to leave. That's all I could get out before I started crying too hard to speak. He pulled me close to him. "Um, I've been thinking," He began, "and I think that... if love is caring more about another person that you do yourself... Well, I love you."

Anniversary Week: Double Header, coming tomorrow!

Tomorrow, you get a double header. Stinky's got a bad virus that took us into the doctor for a breathing treatment today. He's no longer throwing up, and he is breathing more easily, but I'll feel better once the fever subsides.

More mushy stuff to come.

Anniversary Week : "We're Being Stupid."

WBH's answer came back "So, hows that working out for you?"

I'm sorry to have left it on such a cliff hanger yesterday, but there was a purpose to it. I think I mentioned that the talent competition was over one of the mountain passes, and that's when the reception started getting weird. I managed to text back "not very well at all," before we lost communication that night. Long story short, I didn't sleep well at all, but I took home $750 for winning second place and paid off some speeding tickets with it.

I returned home late the next evening, a Saturday and we didn't see each other for a fewdays. We sent messages here and there, solidifying plans to go to the circus a few days later. Sure I had messed things up, I felt silly and stupid for opening up and possibly ruining the good friendship we had. Resolving to pretend it never happened, I didn't mention the weekend's confession, and neither did he. I jumped at every text message, hoping he'd make the next move.

Wednesday night, we were seated together at church again. That week's theme remains a mystery. Spiritual enlightenment was the last thing on my mind. Was WBH sitting closer? I couldn't tell. Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he even know I was going crazy? I felt a little sick, to be honest, but we had rented a movie, and I took it as a sign that we could at least move forward as we had been: as friends.

We sat in the darkened living room, by the glow of The Count of Monte Cristo, my heart racing, the tension betweens us palpable...

Okay, that bit was all for WBH, who said after reading these posts "sheesh, it's like some cheap romance novel in here, honey!" However, the lights were off, we were watching a movie, and yeah, it was tense.

Then our hands brushed. Neither of us moved. Wait, was he holding my hand? Oh, for the love of all things good and green, he was holding my hand! I cautiously laid my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me. Too soon, the movie ended, and it was time for him to go home.

In the car, neither of us spoke. I couldn't handle it anymore. I decided that if he didn't say anything by the time I counted to ten, I'd say something. I didn't know what, but something had to be said. Feeling nauseated, I started counting. One... two... three... four..

"I think we're being stupid," WBH interrupted my counting. "We're dating now, right?"

Anniversary Week: 'Just Friends'

I don't remember much of that "for the first time, again" meeting. I remember feeling really warm and sure that I was bright red. I tried to pay attention to the mission pictures Chris was showing me, but I was distracted by the hotness. At that moment, I swore I wouldn't develop a crush on him. He didn't want me in high school, so I would want nothing to do with him. Wouldn't that just show him. Besides, I was seeing someone- the guy my dad loathed.

We found ourselves sitting together in church classes, and conversation fell into place pretty easily. The relationship I had with the loathed one was heading downhill pretty fast, as things often do when you're dating a liar. One major falling out later, and I found myself in a precarious position. How to endure a 'group date' with this guy and all our friends. So what's a girl to do, but ask her old high school friend to come with them? We're all friends here, right? Getting ice cream after, WBH and I talked about old friends and recalled lunch-table antics. The beginnings of a crush started to grow, but I beat them back into the corner.

The next week, he wanted to go see a movie, but wasn't driving at the time, so he asked me. Yes, we began our relationship by using each other. Not the point. I had to pick up some supplies for the drama camp I was teaching before the show. At the store, a man I looked up to from our congregation saw us and began chatting us up. I didn't think anything of it, but the next Sunday, he caught me in the hall, saying "You know, if you go on one more date with that guy, I promise you, you're going to marry him."

I don't remember what I said after that, because I was flabbergasted and embarassed. It was probably something like "Um, I don't really think so, because, um, it wasn't really a date, and we're just, um, friends, and I'm totally not interested in him like that, really," or something equally brilliant. He looked at me for a moment, said "uh huh," and walked away. I was shaken.

Soon we were together every night, reminding our mothers that we were, of course, 'just friends.' We text-messaged like crazy. We began seeing two - three movies a week, and renting movies on the nights were weren't going to the theater. Conversations became difficult, because I was fighting so hard not to fall for him.

Around that time, I was invited to compete in a talent show a three hours' drive away, over a mountain pass. WBH made a necklace for me to wear while competing. The night before the show, I was so nervous. Surrounded by strangers, I compared myself to the others, who seemed to be cuter, and far more with it. I sent a text message to WBH: "I don't know about this thing. There's a lot of other girls, cuter and more talented than me." His message came back, " I doubt it. Doesn't really seem possible."

There went that warm all over feeling again. I decided it was time to risk it. I wrote back "You know, when you came back from Argentina, I swore I wasn't going to crush on you again."

Palms sweating, I waited for his response.

Anniversary Week: Beginnings

WBH and I met at lunch on the first day of high school (at the same school he now teaches at). As a freshman, all of my friends had a different lunch than I did. When I complained of this to the guy I met in my morning drama class, he invited me to join his friends for lunch. We'd been flirting during the first day get-to-know-you activities, so I took him up on his offer. My journal entry for that day reads "I think this guy is interested in me, but his friend is really cute."

We became part of the same circle of friends, and I crushed on him through high school. At a party, I overheard him say "I'm pretty sure Rae likes me, but I'd never date her." Don't be too hard on him; we were both very different people in high school.

Years passed. We graduated. He went on a mission to Argentina, and I meant to write to him, but instead I dated a series of losers. It was a busy time for both of us. My father came home from a church meeting and told me (so subtly) "You know, I saw WBH tonight. You should give him a call- he's back, and I'm sure he'd like to hang out with an old friend. Give the guy a call." It should be noted that my dad loathed the guy I was seeing at the time, with good reason.

A semi-annual church conference was the next weekend. We saw each other from across the room. It wasn't exactly like the dance scene in West Side Story, but I had a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had forgotten how hot he was.

I Made it Moday: Sister's Apron

My little sister LOVES Orange. It's a problem she's has since junior high, and we see little hope for recovery. She recently painted her bedroom bright orange. I can only imagine my parents were mentally counting the gallons of primer they'll need to un-do it when she moves out.

For Christmas she received a hope chest, and to help her start filling it, I made her this apron and a set of tea towels. The butterfly fabric is made from a women's shirt I found. The style of the shirt left something to be desired, but I love how it works as an accent for this piece. The tutorial is available free at Spool's blog . It's a good one.

Did you know that my 5-year anniversary is coming up on Friday? This week I'll be writing out the story of WBH and me. I hope you'll like it. Check back for that later today.

Confession/Praise

A few months ago, I hit the wall and became pretty deep-down depressed. It was around the time we would have been having another baby and I hit a wall. I lost my energy. I didn't want to leave the house or do much with keeping up with it. I didn't recognize it at the time, but I was really struggling. It was so bad that I couldn't muster up the drive to return books to the library- on our same block. That bad. I racked up some pretty nasty overdue fines.

Fortunately, my guys are pretty forgiving. Stinky was pretty content to play around me as I moped, and WBH took care of a lot of things- cooking, cleaning. I'm so grateful for my patient guys. This weekend, WBH came home and handed me a slip of paper. The receipt for my fines that he had just paid off. Man, I love this guy.

Frugal Friday: Homemade Laundry Detergent

I recently experimented with home-made laundry detergent. There are a million variations on recipes for this, and everyone seems to have varied results when concocting them. I opted for the powedered variety. Here's my recipe:

1 Cup Borax
1 Cup Arm and Hammer Washing Soda - NOT baking soda and NOT A&H detergent.
1 Cup Baking Soda
1 grated bar of Soap

For those local to me: I got all of this stuff at Fred Meyer's in Auburn.

That's it. Dump them in, Shake them up (do not inhale!) and use as little as one tablespoon in your washer (I use a leftover scoop from an Oxyclean container, two for heavily soiled loads). It won't suds up, but let it agitate for a while, then take a peek. The murky water from your clothes is surprising and a little gross. Not only are my clothes just as clean, but I think they're softer, too. Bleach can be used with this detergent without problem. However, do not use bleach with any recipe or softener containing vinegar.

A few notes on the soap: Fels Naptha is the most commonly reccomended soap for this. I dislike the smell of it, and I understand it's made from animal fats. I'm no vegetarian, but the idea of animal fats on my clothes was enough to turn me off of using it. (Edit: Please see A Garden Girl's note about Fels Naptha in the comments- and then go check out her blog, it's got a lot of great ideas!) Zote is one that is also reccomended, as and Ivory is also a good option. I used Dr. Bronner's Lavender Castille bar soap, and I've heard of othes having success with Meyer's Clean Day. Soaps intended to moisturize your skin aren't reccomended. Use the smallest grating surface you have- if it's large, add detergent to your washer's hot running water and let sit for 30 seconds or so to help the soap dissolve, then switch to your desired temperature.

Two scoops of this plus a little extra washing soda shaken into the washer cleaned up Wednesday's poop mess. It's that good!

More great home-made cleaners are Here at Crunchy Peas.

When the toddler is the focused, rational one, there's a problem

Stinky lived up to his pseudonym (again) by creating fecal art (again) in his bed. I was not the most patient and lovely mother today.

We'll take it back. I was feeling pretty terrible today. A headache knocked me off my feet for most of the morning and into the afternoon. Stinky and the dog were misbehaving for most of the morning, including a strip-down after pooping early on in the day. About 30 minutes after I put him down for a nap, I heard him yelling "Mommy! Mommy! Help Me!" Envisioning all sorts of dangerous scenarios, I rushed up the stairs, heart pounding, adrenaline ready to lift a car off of my baby, if the need be. Why the car would be upstairs is yet to be understood, but you know how my mind works. Opening the door, I saw Stinky thrust his hand forward. "Mommy, poop on dink-dink [pacifier]."

I try not to be a yelling mother. I try to state my feelings in "I" terms when I'm upset. So I sputtered, "I am SO angry right now." Here's the rest of our exchange:

Stinky: Yes, Mommy. Sorry. uh, poop on dink-dink, baby-wipe it off, please.
Me: (floored) Stinky, I am mad that you pooped on the bed.
Stinky: Yes, and dink-dink
Me: Why did you take off your diaper?
Stinky: Um, go poop. On dink-dink.
Me: Yes, I know, but you're supposed to keep in on.
Stinky: I take it off..... Yes, I did.
Me: I'm getting wipes for your hands.
Stinky: And wipe a dink-dink?

Focus he has. Patience I have not. It was everywhere, on every stuffed animal, all over the mattress so badly that I had to give it a shower after I showered Stinky. I made a bed for him on the couch, put on Kung Fu Panda, and ordered him not to get off the couch.

WBH came home from work, he handed me the keys and kissed me. "Why don't you go somewhere?" Jo-Ann's is so much cheaper than therapy. One and a half-hours later, with four new fat quarters in my possession, I returned home a calmer mommy. We went to Costco and got Pizza for dinner, as well as Madagascar for "MOVIE TI-EEM" Friday, and some Diet Dr. Pepper for Mommy's sanity.

I am not ready to lose naps yet, not at all, but I think that's where we're going. Heaven help me.

He Made It Monday: Pendants

I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but my life is pretty awesome. WBH is a large factor in the awesome-ness that is my life. One small part of that factor? He makes me killer jewelry.

These are some of my pendants, the most recent. From left to right, we have an anatomic heart, a Dockyard Anchor, and my newest, the Marauding Molly Pirate Pendant. I've got a few more that have meaning to me/us, and I love changing them up. He knows my style pretty well- I prefer to wear my wedding ring and one larger pendant that's usually a conversation piece.

I just lurve him. The pendants, too, but especially him.