Stinky lived up to his pseudonym (again) by creating fecal art (again) in his bed. I was not the most patient and lovely mother today.
We'll take it back. I was feeling pretty terrible today. A headache knocked me off my feet for most of the morning and into the afternoon. Stinky and the dog were misbehaving for most of the morning, including a strip-down after pooping early on in the day. About 30 minutes after I put him down for a nap, I heard him yelling "Mommy! Mommy! Help Me!" Envisioning all sorts of dangerous scenarios, I rushed up the stairs, heart pounding, adrenaline ready to lift a car off of my baby, if the need be. Why the car would be upstairs is yet to be understood, but you know how my mind works. Opening the door, I saw Stinky thrust his hand forward. "Mommy, poop on dink-dink [pacifier]."
I try not to be a yelling mother. I try to state my feelings in "I" terms when I'm upset. So I sputtered, "I am SO angry right now." Here's the rest of our exchange:
Stinky: Yes, Mommy. Sorry. uh, poop on dink-dink, baby-wipe it off, please.
Me: (floored) Stinky, I am mad that you pooped on the bed.
Stinky: Yes, and dink-dink
Me: Why did you take off your diaper?
Stinky: Um, go poop. On dink-dink.
Me: Yes, I know, but you're supposed to keep in on.
Stinky: I take it off..... Yes, I did.
Me: I'm getting wipes for your hands.
Stinky: And wipe a dink-dink?
Focus he has. Patience I have not. It was everywhere, on every stuffed animal, all over the mattress so badly that I had to give it a shower after I showered Stinky. I made a bed for him on the couch, put on Kung Fu Panda, and ordered him not to get off the couch.
WBH came home from work, he handed me the keys and kissed me. "Why don't you go somewhere?" Jo-Ann's is so much cheaper than therapy. One and a half-hours later, with four new fat quarters in my possession, I returned home a calmer mommy. We went to Costco and got Pizza for dinner, as well as Madagascar for "MOVIE TI-EEM" Friday, and some Diet Dr. Pepper for Mommy's sanity.
I am not ready to lose naps yet, not at all, but I think that's where we're going. Heaven help me.