InstaFriday 4.27.12

1. finished present #2: beaded bandanna   2. banana chocolate chip oatmeal face.  3. finished present #1- bamboo leaves scarf   4. touched by an angel back light after church. 5.  time out for throwing things.  6. the shirt I cured a bad attitude by sewing.  

It was a mellow week, just busy, busy.  

I Made it Monday: Shawl

I go through phases of crafting, and while I've knocked out a few of the items on my get 'er done list, I'm drawn to my knitting needles lately.  WBH brought me home some beautiful skeins of yarn from his trip out of state earlier this month, that compelled me to step away from other jobs and turn it into something right away.  I chose the Multnomah Shawl, which is easy without being really boring to work up.   I'm really pleased with it, and especially love it paired with the Mockingjay Pin WBH made.  The pattern is and is really nice to knit while watching TV.

With May- three birthdays and Mother's Day- coming up, I've got a lot of handmade gifts in the works, and I'm excited to show them off here, once the recipients have them.

InstaFriday April 20

1. train toys are a favorite lately. 2. go-to bread dough rising. 3. gift knitting. 

4. driving home from Seattle 5. brachiosaurus + i heart you dad 6. getting dressed

7. trampoball w/ grandma's dog 8. driving to visit great grandma 9. sleepy mohawk boy

10. finished shawl, blocked. 11. reading on mommy's bed. 12. knitting- my bed buddy this week. 

I love doing this- getting a picture of what the week looked like in snapshots. 

I hope you don't mind my sharing them here.  

InstaFriday

Today, I'm linking up at Life Rearranged for instafriday.  

This week, my instagram looked a little Martha Stewart-ish.  

1. Starting my latest knitting project- interestingly, very near the color of the last one, and using the same father and fan ripple.  2. My finished blanket.  Only took me 4 months (it shouldn't have).  3.  Stinky's Easter egg hickey.  4. Our Easter decor. 5. Fabric I was considering for a dress in this pattern.  Wasn't sure, until I saw this dress on The New Girl.  Now I'm in. 6. Italian Easter egg bread.  

Thank you

Life, as witnessed by my camera phone.  1. Stinky's face painting from the farmer's market. 2. Grandma Becky reads the best stories. 3. Breakfast at Sunbreak Cafe before we left town.  These are half-portions, too. 4.  Lunch at Ikea.  5. just before Rotten was traumatized by the Seattle Center fountain. 6. Stinky walking Rotten to the water.   

Thank you for your kind words- here, and publicly and privately on Facebook.  They really meant a lot to me.  It's hard to write a post like that without feeling like it's fishing for validation, but I also think in the world of blogs where we have just a snapshot of someone's life, it's important to share some of the very real parts of it, too.   To read a response that gave me a lot of hope and inspiration, check this essay out. 

enough

I feel like I've written this post before- like I've been here so, so many times that I must have already written these words. Part of the reason I haven't been writing stems from WBH's absence while he visited his sister out of state last week.  I kept the boys (and myself) incredibly busy with trips to favorite places and new experiences.  I took on the project of reworking our room, which I'll share pictures of later.   By the end of it, we were reunited and exhausted.

A larger part of the reason I've been absent from the blog is that I have spent so much time lately not feeling 'enough' of anything.  Not smart enough, not good enough, not pretty or skinny enough, not mom enough.... just not enough of anything.  It's kind of culminated in a messy mood tonight, leaving me to pour out the inadequacies I'm feeling here, wondering if I will ever feel enough of anything at all.

I'm not so foolish as to think I'm alone in struggling with these feelings,  but lately the levels of self-consciousness I find myself in have become toxic and I can't seem to make it through a day without rehashing what I did wrong, what people must think of my, and why I can't just get my stupid self together.

So that's where I've been.

Spring brings with it a little hope- the opportunity for new growth, for renewal, for weeding out the bad to make room for the good to grow. So, I'm working on it.

And that's where I am now.