Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Coming Home

I've struggled with how to write this post. I've been reflecting on the events that led me here and everything that has happened since. Everything that has since happened has confirmed, very clearly, that I made the right choice.

A week and a half ago, I quit my job after nearly four years there, on the spot and gave no notice. I worked at a company with a four-lettered name (which is funny, now that I think about it), that inspired a disco song that remains popular to this day. It is a wonderful place to be as a member, but it's hard to be an employee there.

I'd been unhappy with it for probably the last year. I was being paid less than employess I had more knowledge and experience than. The workload was increasing while benefits and compensation remained the same. I found myself singing the line from Schoolhouse Rock's "The Shot Heard 'round the World "That's called taxation without representation! And it isn't fair! It's WRONG!"

I didn't want to be rash, or have a bad attitude, so I carefully asked one of the few employees in my department who'd been there longer than I had if it had become harder to work there than it used it be. She confirmed that she felt the same way. Since having Aidan, I'd cut down to extremely part-time, and they were the unhappiest hours of my week. The night before a work day, I'd be angry for a reason I couldn't name. I resented missing Saturdays with WBH and Stinky.

Two Saturdays ago, there was an ugly situation. There's really no point in going into the details, but when I called WBH to rant about the idiocy of the situation and how it was being handled, he said "This has gotten ridiculous, and it's not worth the money you make, no offense, for you to be treated this way." So I sat down and wrote my letter of resignation. Just before I sent it, I took a step back. Breathing in, I prayed for a moment that if this was me being irrational, I'd know. I waited for a while and went back to work. I still felt at peace with my decision, and I clicked send.

What's happened since has confirmed coming home was the best decision. My mother provided free Grandma Daycare on the weekdays that I worked (heaven bless her!). She's now in a situation where the time that freed up is really important. I was extended a calling at church that I was told will be 'time consuming.' More than anything, though, I've been more cheerful with Stinky and WBH. I've been happier in general, no more 'mystery anger' or resentment.
Yesterday, I learned that since I left, they've laid off some of the most competent administrators and other staff are in jeopardy as well- good employees who have worked there for ten years or more.

I worried so much about this choice, but am so glad I did it, and so grateful for WBH's support in the decision. Coming home feels so good.


Cindy Brinkerhoff said...

Wow good for you. I wish I could just quite and be a MOm too.

earwaxtasteslikecrayons said...

Congrats! It's hard to take those steps in the dark; I'm glad it's turned out so well for you.


Tami said...

Good for you!! Amazing the peace that comes with the right choices for us!

TheRetroHousewife said...

I'm so happy for you!