On Belief

On the topic of faith, sometimes I feel a lot like Stinky in this picture- there's a huge ocean around me, but I'm looking at the small stuff on shore.

I believe in family.  I believe that it extends beyond genetics and time and death.

I believe in love, and that you don't choose it, but you can choose to nurture it or not.

I believe in miracles- big and small.

I believe in my chosen religion, but I don't believe it is perfect. I'll gladly discuss it with parties who are curious, but not antagonistic.  I believe that my time is valuable and fighting over faith wastes it.

I believe in carbs.

I believe that it is okay to question and doubt.

I believe conversation is always better than conflict.

I believe in equality, and I try to reconcile that with my faith.  This is something I've tried for more than a decade.  I believe there is an answer, but none that I've reached have set right in my heart.  I keep looking and praying.

I believe that being defensive accomplishes nothing but building a wall. I believe you can soften someone's heart more by being a friend than you can by being  an enemy.

I believe in the power of creativity, and that it resides in everyone.

I believe in cookies.

I believe in a God who loves you and me.  I believe it's cool if you believe in one that is different, or don't believe in one at all.

I believe in your right to believe in whatever gets you through, and I hope you do, too.

Happy 4th!

I hope everyone is having a gorgeous 4th of July with their family. We'll be enjoying the backyard today- what are you up to?

Later this week I'll write about my unsuccessful craft fair, and have a giveaway. I hope you make it back!

Pardon the celebrating...

But WBH is home for the summer, starting at 3:05 today, and we're ecstatic. That whooping and hollering and shouts of hooray I'm sure your hearing? That's us. We'll calm down later. For now, we're going to celebrate having him home for the next two months, as well as today being his birthday. I know I filled up Sunday's post with mush, but I'm so grateful for you, WBH! Happy Birthday to the best thing ever to happen to me!

Parenting 505

Earlier this month, our church held it's semi-annual general conference. Twice yearly, the leaders of our church broadcast messages via sattelite- for us this means that we gather at my parents for pancakes, gummi bear conference bingo, and we get to enjoy church in our jammies. There's usually one or two talks the feel like they're aimed directly at me. I know that for many other moms, this year that talk was the one that referenced "Parenting 505." In this talk, Lynn G. Robbins said:

"A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you? "

This talk has been on my mind frequently since it was given. Stinky has been a Parenting 505 kid this year in particular. Then I think about it more, and I don't know a single parent who doesn't feel like they're muddling their way through 505, even those whose children are adults now.

Most days, I feel so blessed that I get to be a mother, and specifically, Stinky and Rotten's mother. I watch our family and other families, see how their dynamics work, and I think about how they work with the personalities their children came with, and how each child seems to be so perfectly placed within their families- I don't know how anyone can fail to see a Divine Hand in that.

When I think about the way that my boys have shaped me- like putting a rock through a tumbler, polishing me by rolling me around in a mess of sometimes abrasive circumstances- I know that they were meant to be our children, and WBH and I meant to be their parents. I reject the idea that our family is mere coincidence. The gravity of knowing that makes the responsibility that much more fantastic and real to me.

Lucky

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

This Girl

There is something about a sister. You can say horrible things to each other, you can steal shamelessly from their wardrobe, you can make fun of her having a badonkadonk that rivals Jennifer Lopez, and you know that the two of you will still love each other. I have two sisters in my family, and while I have done all of the above to them (and they have done the same to me- except for the badonkadonk, that's reserved for middle sister), and we all still love each other very much.

Middle Sister ditched her yeti of a boyfriend earlier this year and decided to serve a mission for our church. She found out two days before Christmas that she will be leaving the nest for a year and a half to live in Campinas, Brazil. "OH MY GOSH, you guys, I'm not even upset!" she shouted.

I'm so proud of her, and excited for the changes and blessings this will bring for her. I'll be starting a blog to keep her friends and family updated while she's gone.... and I am going to steal every scrap left in her closet before her plane leaves the ground.

So, to Middle Sister, my Irma Ginger, I say "You'll be swell! You'll be great! Your red pumps and brown knee-high boots aren't good for walking and Little Sister's feet are too big anyway!"

Full Of It

It was a really nice weekend. Was yours? I hope so.

I'd planned for a round-up of the handmade gifts I made, but the weekend has been too full.

Full of family faces, from near and far.

Full of noses being wiped, Theraflu and Emergen-C chugged.

Full of puzzles and games played on the rug.

Full of gratitude and reflection.
Full of snuggles and late-night movies.
Full of joy at Rotten sleeping in the bed Santa brought him (On his own! CELEBRATE!).
Full of one-on-one time with Stinky thanks to Rotten's sleep successes.
Full of appreciating gifts, but embracing the companions.

Much, much too full for writing any blog posts.

So I hope you'll forgive me, but this weekend was so filling that if it was a meal, I would be searching for my maternity pants. Okay, you caught me, I totally had to find my maternity sweats. I'm back on track now. Come back tomorrow, though. This week is full of good stuff.

The Blustery Day

I've been a little absent from the blog, as the boys and I have been spending time with their great-grandma who visited from Arizona this last week.

great-grandma here with my Daddio

Stinky really adored her, asking when we would visit her each morning. She snuggled Rotten, and praised both boys until I thought they might float away with their newly inflated egos. It was wonderful to have her here, and she will be missed now that she's in Arizona again, though I'm sure the warm weather there is more to her taste.

Our gloomy Western Washington winter is upon us. Our first big windstorms of the year are hitting us, making me grateful for these for walls, and the cheerful yellow we've painted on them. It's a nice contrast to the gray outside. Today is especially blustery and I've declared it a movie and sweatpants day, with a big pot of Cincinnati chili to warm us tonight-crossing our fingers that the power stays on.

Lots of projects are in the works- gifts for Christmas, furniture re-purposing, and a no-budget bedroom makeover for WBH and I. I'm really excited for all of it, but it has to be done in spurts, thanks to Stinky and Rotten. Looking forward to sharing those with you, and the sweet suit picture I promised last week.

I hope your week is going well- how are you dealing with the fall weather?

Rotten's Blessing Day

I almost didn't post this picture, because it really isn't a good look for me, but on closer inspection, the details in this picture make me really happy.

• WBH's beard is growing back in, because he's awesome and participates in group themed Halloween costumes.
• Stinky's clothes are too big, because if I buy the size he's currently in, we can only use them for three months. He's covering his ears because a large number of family members were encouraging him to smile and stand next to us- he was trying to go get his flirt on with the leggy blonde about 20 feet to our right.
• I look crazy tired because Rotten is going through a growth spurt and wants to eat all night long- but the dress just recently fit again and I was excited to wear it.
• Rotten is barefoot because when WBH changed his diaper, he stuck his feet right in the poo. However, we managed to avoid any bodily fluids on the suit... yup, I've reached the poo-talk place. I'm telling you, I need more sleep.
• Behind me, you can see the reflection of the stunning fall day that we started with- three hours later it was pouring rain.

So while on first glance I almost dismissed this picture, I'm glad I didn't. The stories in the details are too good to pass up.

More pictures to come!

It's a Good Crazy

My house smells like molten chocolate right now. That's not exactly kind to brag about, but it is true. This weekend is a whirlwind of family gatherings, beginning with my adorable sister-in-law's birthday lunch, continuing to Rotten's baby blessing and ending with a family luncheon. My grandmother, aunt, and uncle flew in from Arizona tonight. It will be crazy, but it's a good crazy. I'm mostly in charge of showing up with the baked goods, hence the chocolate scented house. I wish I could make this blog scratch and sniff.

Rotten will be wearing the same sweet suit that Stinky wore, that was also worn by his uncle. looking back on the pictures from Stinky's blessing day (February 2007) has been fun.

Have a great weekend!

Isn't it About Time?

our latest family photo, taken at an a-town game. we crushed them, by the way.

In the first few weeks of Rotten's life, it felt like time was holding still for us. It was a wonderful time, having WBH at home, Stinky loving and adoring his new little brother, enjoying allf the changes and challenges together. Like all good things, it came to an end- WBH had to return to work, Stinky will be returning to his preschool routine this week, and life's unavoidably hectic pace has resumed.

It's the little responsibilities, the frequent interruptions, the things that make life what it is. I know we can't expect to maintain the family time we get during the summers or the freedom that comes with it. Eventually, real life comes knocking again and we have to rejoin the rest of the human race.

I'm trying to find ways to reclaim our family time, and considering what robs us of it. Where do you draw the line between what is necessary and what isn't?

I Made It Monday: Birthday Apron for Mom

There are a lot of great things about my mom. One of my favorites is that, even as I inch toward 30, when I make her something, she still says "Wow, it's beautiful!" For her birthday last week, I was really excited about this apron.

I may have mentioned before that I'm really particular about color. I work on it, but I'm really a pill about it. The seashell accent fabric was bought months ago, found in a remnant bin, to use "someday." The main fabric with the sand dollars was purchased separately, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I saw how beautifully they came together. It's based on this tutorial at DESIgns, but not reversible.

In other news, we've been on vacation, and it was beautiful. I'll write up a post on it soon, but WBH has a post-vacation bug, and I need to play catch-up.

Happy Monday, friends!

Making it Monday: Growing Things

Thanks to everyone for the supportive response last week. I sometimes wonder why I write here, and then I remember: I think the blogging makes me feel more normal.

This week, our family is preparing for what will need to be a quick out of state trip for a funeral, when the time comes. I'm running around like one of the unwise virgins, trying for the life of me to find oil in time. That's me trying to make being up to my eyeballs in laundry and housework sound more poetic than it is. My posts this week will have to be kept short, to keep me on track.

That said, I'm excited to share that I'm going to be making dinner, a crust-less quiche, with our first spinach harvest of the season, and it looked so pretty in my overcast kitchen lighting that I had to share. Spinach has been the easiest thing to grow, hands down. I think it would probably do pretty well in a pot, if you were doing container gardening, too.

Now, if anyone has any suggestions for getting rid of garden gnats, we would appreciate them. Our vinegar/sugar/water jug has only taken care of about half of the problem.

Coming Home

I've struggled with how to write this post. I've been reflecting on the events that led me here and everything that has happened since. Everything that has since happened has confirmed, very clearly, that I made the right choice.

A week and a half ago, I quit my job after nearly four years there, on the spot and gave no notice. I worked at a company with a four-lettered name (which is funny, now that I think about it), that inspired a disco song that remains popular to this day. It is a wonderful place to be as a member, but it's hard to be an employee there.

I'd been unhappy with it for probably the last year. I was being paid less than employess I had more knowledge and experience than. The workload was increasing while benefits and compensation remained the same. I found myself singing the line from Schoolhouse Rock's "The Shot Heard 'round the World "That's called taxation without representation! And it isn't fair! It's WRONG!"

I didn't want to be rash, or have a bad attitude, so I carefully asked one of the few employees in my department who'd been there longer than I had if it had become harder to work there than it used it be. She confirmed that she felt the same way. Since having Aidan, I'd cut down to extremely part-time, and they were the unhappiest hours of my week. The night before a work day, I'd be angry for a reason I couldn't name. I resented missing Saturdays with WBH and Stinky.

Two Saturdays ago, there was an ugly situation. There's really no point in going into the details, but when I called WBH to rant about the idiocy of the situation and how it was being handled, he said "This has gotten ridiculous, and it's not worth the money you make, no offense, for you to be treated this way." So I sat down and wrote my letter of resignation. Just before I sent it, I took a step back. Breathing in, I prayed for a moment that if this was me being irrational, I'd know. I waited for a while and went back to work. I still felt at peace with my decision, and I clicked send.

What's happened since has confirmed coming home was the best decision. My mother provided free Grandma Daycare on the weekdays that I worked (heaven bless her!). She's now in a situation where the time that freed up is really important. I was extended a calling at church that I was told will be 'time consuming.' More than anything, though, I've been more cheerful with Stinky and WBH. I've been happier in general, no more 'mystery anger' or resentment.
Yesterday, I learned that since I left, they've laid off some of the most competent administrators and other staff are in jeopardy as well- good employees who have worked there for ten years or more.

I worried so much about this choice, but am so glad I did it, and so grateful for WBH's support in the decision. Coming home feels so good.

Week of Thanksgiving: Friday

My in-laws: We had such a fun Thanksgiving with them, the food was delicious, and Stinky was delighted to be with them. I love them, and the proof is that it was mostly their gift that got me up on black friday.

Surviving Black Friday
WBH letting me sleep inafter fighting with the crowds. Until 1:30. Love that man.