Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I know I said I would...

...and I will. I will post an I Made it Monday, but it might be next monday by the time I get to it. I've had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my noggin, and this one is the one that is surfacing the most right now.

WBH and I had joked about my doing roller derby for a long time. It usually went something like this:

Me: I'm thinking about doing roller derby, sweetie.
WBH: That's odd, I was just considering a career in cage fighting.

Of course, we didn't know much of anything about it at the time. A little more knowledge (especially an awareness of new rules and safety precautions), and I knew it was something I'd place on my bucket list, but it didn't really make it beyond that.

Then came this year. We found out in March that I was pregnant- a total shock. Stinky was conceived with the assistance of some fertility drugs, and we assumed any children to follow would be created in the same way. A month later, I miscarried, and it broke my heart. I am so grateful for WBH's constant support, and to Stinky just for being there, because without them, I'd have taken to my bed, and I don't know how long I would have stayed there. Some complications followed, and the physical pain made the emotional pain that much more difficult to manage.

In the fog of emotions that followed, I remember sitting at dinner one night, probably a little zombie-esqe, and WBH said "You know... I think if you can survive this, you shouldgo ahead and do roller derby." A month later, I tried out. I didn't make it, but I got a taste for the fun. Over the summer and into the fall, I attended open skates, dropped in on practices, and volunteered at the bouts. This fall, I tried out again and made the league.

What really has been rolling around in my head is why I do this. I've learned through this sport that I can get knocked down, tripped up, have my feet come completely out from under me, or any number of ways of falling. Yes, it hurts, a lot sometimes. But I get up, even when it hurts, and I skate again. Learning that I can get up and keep going, even if it hurts like hell, has changed how I handle other pain, too. I think that this is the lesson of 2008. Just get up and keep skating.


Tina and Dan said...

I love it! Great post and I really admire your going out and trying something new and challenging. Thank you for sharing!

Brandon or Michelle said...

This is some real strength. I loved it. although I think as an epilouge, you might want to write about how only the toughest girls can roller derby. you deserve the credit.

can't wait to sew something up for ya!

Tami said...

I admire your courage for doing something like that. I think I would die first, I hate falling! You rock!

The Wife said...

I'm so sorry, sweets. That really sucks about the miscarriage. I wish I had known at the time...