...and I will. I will post an I Made it Monday, but it might be next monday by the time I get to it. I've had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my noggin, and this one is the one that is surfacing the most right now.
WBH and I had joked about my doing roller derby for a long time. It usually went something like this:
Me: I'm thinking about doing roller derby, sweetie.
WBH: That's odd, I was just considering a career in cage fighting.
Of course, we didn't know much of anything about it at the time. A little more knowledge (especially an awareness of new rules and safety precautions), and I knew it was something I'd place on my bucket list, but it didn't really make it beyond that.
Then came this year. We found out in March that I was pregnant- a total shock. Stinky was conceived with the assistance of some fertility drugs, and we assumed any children to follow would be created in the same way. A month later, I miscarried, and it broke my heart. I am so grateful for WBH's constant support, and to Stinky just for being there, because without them, I'd have taken to my bed, and I don't know how long I would have stayed there. Some complications followed, and the physical pain made the emotional pain that much more difficult to manage.
In the fog of emotions that followed, I remember sitting at dinner one night, probably a little zombie-esqe, and WBH said "You know... I think if you can survive this, you shouldgo ahead and do roller derby." A month later, I tried out. I didn't make it, but I got a taste for the fun. Over the summer and into the fall, I attended open skates, dropped in on practices, and volunteered at the bouts. This fall, I tried out again and made the league.
What really has been rolling around in my head is why I do this. I've learned through this sport that I can get knocked down, tripped up, have my feet come completely out from under me, or any number of ways of falling. Yes, it hurts, a lot sometimes. But I get up, even when it hurts, and I skate again. Learning that I can get up and keep going, even if it hurts like hell, has changed how I handle other pain, too. I think that this is the lesson of 2008. Just get up and keep skating.