Thursday, November 19, 2009

broken things to heal.

My body isn't responding to the fertility drugs as well as it did last time. A few years ago, we hit the mark on the first and lowest dosage and two months later I was pregnant. This time around, we got nothing. Before we got that news, I had been feeling confident. The test results really shook me for a while.

Discussing my results and previous pregnancy history with the nurse on the phone, she made the remark "Oh, but you're proven." Why, yes, I'm a proven breeder - much like a blue-ribbon heiffer at the county fair. I'm not angry at her at all, but I did feel a little like a 4-H animal.

It is discouraging, especially under the effects of these medications., but I try to remember that I know we've seen miracles, and prayers answered. I know the Lord makes all things beautiful in His time, not mine. I know that sometimes we're broken so that in healing, He can make us stronger.

6 comments:

Kari said...

I hope things work out for you. You guys are wonderful parents and deserve a chance to do it a second time. Try to stay postitve, I know easier said than done.

balloongal said...

I know you will make another beautiful baby, just as you did the first time.

Tina and Dan said...

I'm so sorry. I know how much you want this! I remember the general RS president once saying that when we strive for righteous desires there is always an ache and yearning that are apart of it. I know you will have the chance to be parents a second time. You are in our prayers.

Melissa said...

I'm sorry Rachel. You are wonderful parents and I know that there is a second baby just waiting to join your little family. I will remember you guys in my prayers.

lisa said...

I'm so sorry, Rachael. My parents struggled with these issues before they adopted me, and it was one of the most trying times for them. I can offer no words of wisdom except to say that you have a wonderful family, and I wish you the very best of luck as you try to make it a lil larger. :) I'm here to talk, if you ever need. ~ Lisa

Tami said...

I know the Lord will bless you with comfort and strength!