Four?

Oh. my boy is four. There's just no pretending that he's anything but a kid now. It might be killing me more than the ugly '29.' I think I'll think about that later.

We decided to get a big family party in before the holidays, so his party was Sunday. The night before, we hung snowflakes- meaning I cut them and WBH patiently climbed up and down the step ladder to hang them. There are still 50 snowflakes hanging from the ceilings in our entry, living and dining rooms. He set up and I wrapped with fabric his gift- can you guess what it is?


We kept the other decorations simple with fabric and his special day poster from preschool.

Another dinosaur cake was requested, this year thankfully nothing as specific or involved as last year's ankylosaurus cake. Honestly, I felt a little like I phoned this one in, but Rotten has been sick, so I only had about 20 minutes to work this out.

He requested another "flip flap jack" breakfast when he woke on his day, and Tealah stopped by with birthday cookies- she knows him so well.

Then we went to pick up the final pieces of his birthday presents- the fish! We have 3 platys (Heddy, Ocho, and Bone-o) and two catfish (both named Oto, "because they're cousins"). How I hope he develops better taste in names before he gives me grandchildren.

After watching the fish for a while, we took him to dinner at a resteraunt of his choice. A fine Scottish bistro- perhaps you've heard of it?

Tonight he's requested to sleep with the fishies, and we see no reason a sleepover shouldn't happen.

Dear Stinky, today you are four. Your name means fiery prince and boy, do you live up to it. We love the way you do things one hundred and crazy percent. We are so proud of the way you've grown up this year and stepped up into the role of big brother. We prayed so hard for you to become a part of our family, and you are just what we wanted. We love how you surprise us and keep life interesting, and we hope that never changes.

One Year Older and Wiser... Maybe.

It was my birthday this weekend. I'm 29. Not the anniversary of 29, the first 29.

This boy put on makeup "to make me beautiful!" and kept bringing me random things (a straw bent into a T, for our last name, a broken toy) and telling me they were his gifts to me. I loved that he wanted to make it special for me.


Then this guy and I went on our first real date in several months to see Harry Potter. We held hands and everything. The freedom was a little intoxicating.

When I returned to my parents' home, Stinky had made me a "toy tree."

"Yeah, for your birfday," he explained.

and he helped my mom (isn't she so cute?) make me a cake- with my favorite color for frosting.

It was a lovely day.

The bad news is that I'm honestly more than a little squicked out (of course it's a word) by this year's birthday. Looking at last year's list , I did about five and a half of the things I wanted to in my 28th year. Not too shabby, because they were big things, and I had a baby. Some also weren't specific enough for my taste, and that's something I'll change for this year's list of goals. I'm not really sure why 29 has me so squicked out (it could be a word), but I think it has something to do with the fact that it's so close to 30.

The good news is that as I reflect on the year, compare it to years past, I am happy to report that I feel more at home in my own skin than I ever have. I'm more accepting of myself and more confident. Are there things I would like to change? Of course. Will I ever stop feeling like I'm still 15 and scared of things? I don't know, but I feel like I'm getting there. It feels like my rough edges are being smoothed out, and while I might hate the process of it sometimes, I really am starting to like the results.

Now, hopefully this introspective post rounds out the lady parts cupcakes post.

The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me (a little mush)

It's this handsome stud's (the bigger one) birthday today. There really are too many wonderful things about him to name, but I'd like to share a few with you. Not trying to make you jealous or anything, but he's darn near perfect.

WBH, thanks for being the best thing that's ever happened to me. I think about how lucky I got every day to be the girl that got to marry you. I'm so grateful for your kind heart, your sense of humor, and what a good man you are. I love watching you with Stinky, and marvel at the great father you are, and will continue to become as our family grows. I count my blessings that I somehow found someone who is creative and pragmatic, and your work ethic never fails to impress and make me proud. I love you. I love being your wife, and your babies' mama. Happy 30th.

Whee, he's three!

I can't believe my little man is three. He's such an awesome kid. All through the day yesterday, we said things like "and this is when mommy got the epidural and fell right asleep because the contractions kept her up all night, three years ago" or "And this is about the time Mommy decided she really disliked the doctor that delivered you, but in the end it didn't matter, because we got you." It was a pretty low-key, at home day for him. I'm grateful for this age, where the simple things are the best.

The hat above I made after Stinky begged for a very similar one for sale in Seattle over the weekend. The only real difference is that there was a plastic dinosaur on the top and a little more glitter- but this one cost me $2.50, not the $32.99 they wanted in the shop. Thank heavens he's got a mama that can make things!

As a special birthday breakfast, I created a flip-flap Jack. It's a word play that we learned this summer, that he instantly declared "a-MAY-zing!" and I thought it would be fun.

"Flip Flap Jack's Arms are deeeeelicious!" It's a little morbid, I admit. Later, we snuggled on the couch and talked about how he was a three year-old boy. He told me "and you're a three year-old Mommy." "Why, yes I am," I told him, and he hugged me tight.

In addition to a special dinner of "Pizza, french fries, and chocolate milk," he asked for an ankylosaurus cake. So help me, an ankylosaurus cake. Fortunately, I was able to modify an alligator plan from Hello Cupcake. This is what we wound up with.

We had a small family party for him tonight, which was nice and mellow. I guess I'm waiting until he's invited to a preschool or church friend's party before we have a friend party. We've also talked about having even birthdays being small family to-dos, and odd birthdays being friend parties. We make plans and God laughs, though, so we'll see.

WBH has been working on this painting for Stinky's room for months! It takes up most of the wall, and it's awesome! I'm so proud of him! After taking some time to play with his haul, he went to bed late and took his new triceratops skull (a fishtank toy he was in awe of everytime we went to the store) with him. He tucked him in a wished him a good night, as well as the dinosaurs in the painting.

Stinky is such an amazing little miracle. He challenges me and makes me grow as a mom, as a person, everyday, but he has changed me so much. We love you, Stinkosaurus Rex, Happy Birthday!

Another year over, and a new one just begun

( look at the handsome man I conned into marrying me.

I get to look at that face forever.)

So, it's my birthday. When I thought about the fact that i'm 28, it hit me that I'm more than twice the age of the girls I teach. Then, I thought about how it's weird to be worrying that I'm twice someone's age, and then I wanted to think about shiny things instead.

I have a tendency to go into a bit of a pre-birthday funk. It's not about aging; you can fight a good fight, but another birthday will find you every 365 days (except for a guy I dated in college whose birthday is on February 29th. He was almost five when we met.) The funk is about expectations I have for myself, if they're reasonable, if they're being met. The nice thing about the funk is that it passes- Looking forward to what the next year brings helps. With that, I give you:

Rae's top ten for 28

1. Get more rooms organized and maybe painted so it feels less 'new home' and more 'lived in.'
2. Open an Etsy Shop.
3. Focus on shopping and eating more locally.
4. Do more with this blog
5. Become financially proactive rather than reactive.
6. Grow our own food in a box garden
7. Read three books a month- my reading has really suffered this year.
8. Improve my time managements skills.
9. Sing More.
10. Expand my crafting repertoire- try print making, more cake decorating and improved sewing.

'Tis better to give than receive.

Today is my birthday, and in honor of it, I'm putting upa wow-I-wish-I-were-a-big-cool-blogger-giveaway. It's nothing fancy, but I'm offerring our family's Christmas Mix CD for one of you this year. Because WBH hates most Christmas music (he worked in retail for too long), I try to find music that isn't overplayed, and I think I've got some really fun stuff pulled together- Barenaked Ladies, Jane Monheit, Jason Mraz, it's a good mix!

To be entered, comment here by Tuesday with your favorite Christmas song, just for fun, and I'll randomly select one on Tuesday. Mine is "I heard the bells on Christmas Day"

Got to run- WBH stayed home from work and jsut made me a HUGE yummy breakfast. How I love him.