Tuesday, December 7, 2010

One Year Older and Wiser... Maybe.

It was my birthday this weekend. I'm 29. Not the anniversary of 29, the first 29.

This boy put on makeup "to make me beautiful!" and kept bringing me random things (a straw bent into a T, for our last name, a broken toy) and telling me they were his gifts to me. I loved that he wanted to make it special for me.

Then this guy and I went on our first real date in several months to see Harry Potter. We held hands and everything. The freedom was a little intoxicating.

When I returned to my parents' home, Stinky had made me a "toy tree."
"Yeah, for your birfday," he explained.

and he helped my mom (isn't she so cute?) make me a cake- with my favorite color for frosting.

It was a lovely day.

The bad news is that I'm honestly more than a little squicked out (of course it's a word) by this year's birthday. Looking at last year's list , I did about five and a half of the things I wanted to in my 28th year. Not too shabby, because they were big things, and I had a baby. Some also weren't specific enough for my taste, and that's something I'll change for this year's list of goals. I'm not really sure why 29 has me so squicked out (it could be a word), but I think it has something to do with the fact that it's so close to 30.

The good news is that as I reflect on the year, compare it to years past, I am happy to report that I feel more at home in my own skin than I ever have. I'm more accepting of myself and more confident. Are there things I would like to change? Of course. Will I ever stop feeling like I'm still 15 and scared of things? I don't know, but I feel like I'm getting there. It feels like my rough edges are being smoothed out, and while I might hate the process of it sometimes, I really am starting to like the results.
Now, hopefully this introspective post rounds out the lady parts cupcakes post.


Tina and Dan said...

Happy Birthday!!! I'm glad you had such a nice day! I know what you mean about feeling better about yourself, but still feeling like a scared 15 year old at the same time!

James and Elizabeth said...

Happy Birthday! Your beautiful little family is so awesome. I love you.

SarahJane said...

Happy Birthday! I always remember the birthday party you had with beach balls. Weird I know, but I still think about it.

Of course you're squicked out. I was squicked out too. I heard last month that women have a "Thrisis" when they approach 30.

Mike Brinkerhoff said...

If you ever figure out how to stop feeling like you're 15 and scared, let me know... sheesh... should have stopped LONG ago!

Tami said...

Actually, it only gets better after 30! You get more comfortable in your own skin, and more forgiving of your mistakes. More humble and willing to recognize when you are wrong and say sorry sooner. I love my 30's. Really excited for my 40's. But, we'll see if I'm still saying that in 2 1/2 years when I actually get there.
You are an amazing 29!

earwaxtasteslikecrayons said...

It's funny how, when I was in my 20s and started having children, I thought about how much kids learn.

I think I've learned more since I turned 30 than all the other years before that.

I'm glad you had such a great day--everyone deserves to have a wonderful birthday. (And I started to cry when your mom told us about your husband washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen afterwards. It reminded me of my brothers.) And I love the toy tree. And this comment is so scrambly I think I should probably go to bed.