Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Will You Play Date With Me?

When I imagined myself as a mother, somehow I assumed that there would be a magical cloak of knowledge that suddenly fell on me at the moment of my firstborn's conception. I'm still waiting for my magical cloak, three conceptions later.

Stinky's been having a rough go of it at preschool. Somedays are great, and then, bam! Abysmal failure. I've been trying to work with him, trying to figure out how to help him, and I've decided that playdates might be a good place to start learning to be a friend without the pressure of the whole preschool class there.

One of the things I think I was missing from the magical cloak was knowing that when your kid is having a hard time, asking another mom for a playdate is a million times harder than asking the hottest guy in school on a date. She could reject you, and not only you, but your kid, too. Double shame. Then returns the scared 15 year old, and you can't be that girl as a mom.

But if there's double shame in a possible rejection, there's definitely double joy when you hear that mom say yes, and that what's more, they like your kid, even knowing the troubles they've been having.

So much better than than the hottest guy in school.


balloongal said...

Sometimes I really wished we lived closer. I wouldn't reject you. I hope you wouldn't reject me or my kids.

Becky Home-ecky said...

It is very hard to find friends for your kids that you like and they like who are good influences and fun but not mean, and also, that you like and trust their mom too.

Honestly, my boys have played better with little girls than boys, so right now their best friends are two little sisters their same ages. And by play better I mean, they seem more removed from all of that boy craziness that a group of boys gets up to (poop jokes, punching, rough housing, bullying younger sibs, etc).

Good luck. Their angst is a terrible thing on the heart.

Anonymous said...

It is a balm when you find someone who can see good in your child, especially when you're having trouble seeing it yourself. Happy play-dating!